13th December 2013 9:00
By Blue Tutors
Generally speaking, it is a tutor’s job to be as encouraging as possible when teaching each of their students. Tutors should want their students to succeed, and should let them know that they believe in them. One of the main benefits of having a tutor is that students get one-one attention, and receive help and encouragement every step of the way, which school teachers are often not able to give. However, there is a caveat to this, which is that tutors should not encourage students beyond the point at which it is good for the student. This is an extremely difficult call to make, as all tutors want their students to succeed. But how should tutors handle it if students and their parents have unrealistic expectations?
The first thing to do is work out where the expectations are really coming from. Parental pressure is a common factor which tutors need to take into account; often when students are taking subjects that they do not enjoy, or applying for universities which may not suit them, conversations with the student reveal that they are following their parents’ aspirations rather than their own. For example, preparing an Oxbridge application takes time and dedication, and it is often clear to the tutors who specialise in this which students are keen to do it, and which ones are dragging their feet because their parents are pressuring them to apply. Asking students why they are applying for the subject and why they have chosen that particular university and college can often provide a good indication of how far they really want to apply.
A more difficult issue is when the student is determined to go down a path which isn’t right for them. Students who have dreamed about singing at the royal college of music, or studying maths at Cambridge, for example, are often the most dedicated in terms of their applications. Yet even very talented students are rejected from these courses all the time, and it is a tutor’s job to help the student see whether they are in with a shot. Generally speaking, if students have the minimum qualifications required, then applications should be cautiously encouraged. The problem comes when the student and their families become hell-bent on their application being successful, and are crushed if it, like those of many other brilliant students, is not. One of the jobs a tutor fears most is the repeat application. They are brought in because the student didn’t get into the university of their choice last time round, and the job of the tutor is to prep and coach until the student is successful. Sometimes a little confidence boosting is all it takes. But other times, such a course is bad for the student whatever the outcome; which is worse – a second rejection, or three years at a university at which they are unable to cope?