14th March 2014 9:00
By Blue Tutors
Schools minister David Laws recently responded to questions about middle-class dominance of the schools system by saying that more parents should be pushy. It is of great concern to many that grammar schools are dominated by middle-class children whose parents can afford to coach them for entrance exams and move to affluent areas in which the schools are located. Wealthier parents also have the option of enrolling their children at private schools, paying tutors to help with entrance exams in addition to the often considerable annual school fees. The schools minister would have it that this is what parents should aspire to, and has announced that pushy parents should be viewed as role models for those who have what he considers to be lower aspirations.
There are many who find this view repugnant, especially the idea that parents who do not aspire to private schooling for their children are not striving hard enough. But let’s consider the broader question here: Can being a pushy parent be a good thing? The term has very negative connotations, especially amongst private tutors who often encounter parents whose aspirations for their children are quite challenging, and in some cases damaging. When we think of pushy parents, we think of parents who hire tutors to children before they have started school, harass and abuse teachers and pressure their children to achieve top grades in every subject. However, I would like to suggest that there is an alternative mode of pushy parenting which would be far more positive.
The association of head teachers has recently released advice for parents encouraging them to ‘make life a lesson’. They point out the everyday educational opportunities which arise at home and all the hidden benefits of simple and fun activities that parents can do with their children. Planting and looking after a mini garden or house plant, going for walks, looking at the stars, reading together, making models, cooking and playing games were all suggested by the head teachers as beneficial activities. And their number one recommendation? That parents talk regularly with their children. Simply ensuring that parents engage with their children and allow them the opportunity to talk about their day, ask questions and muse about life is one of the most beneficial things parents can do for their children, not just for their education, but for their mental health and well-being. If being a pushy parent means being involved with one’s children, taking an interest and allowing them space to learn, then that is not bad thing.